Never Argue With A Fool

http://www.simonpreacher.com/blog/success_journal/never-argue-with-a-fool/

Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:9
Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.

Proverbs 10:18
Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.

 Proverbs 12:15
The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.

Proverbs 14:7
Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips.

 Proverbs 14:16
The wise fear the LORD and shun evil, but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure.

 Proverbs 16:22
Prudence is a fountain of life to the prudent, but folly brings punishment to fools.

Proverbs 18:2
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

Proverbs 26:4
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.

The Wait Is Almost Over

After waiting over 3 years for some finality, some sense of closure...justice the wait will soon be over. The wait has been one filled with ups and downs, not only in the way I have acted during this trial but with life in general and I look forward to the calm. While I can not even being to know what God is going to do through this, I do have hopes. I hope that through the ruling that there may be growth in Godly character and healing for everyone.

Gungor "Beautiful Things"

Reciprocate Good Deeds in Faith (Matthew 7:12)

Reciprocate Good Deeds in Faith (7:12)

If those who condemn others are condemned (7:1-5), God clearly operates on a principle of reciprocity; we must do good to people in advance of their doing good to us, trusting God to reward us later. The principle in this context is that as we give, it will be given to us by God in the day of judgment. If God is the example of giving (vv. 7-11), we should give whatever people need (5:42). How we treat others (7:12) reveals our character (vv. 16-20) and hence reveals our eternal destiny (vv. 13-14, 21-23). At least since a sermon of John Wesley in 1750 this has been called the "Golden Rule" (Guy 1959); over a millennium earlier, a Christian Roman emperor allegedly engraved the saying on his wall in gold (France 1985:145).
This rule was a widespread principle of ancient ethics. The positive form of the rule appears as early as Homer and recurs in Herodotus, Isocrates and Seneca. The negative form ("And what you hate, do not do to anyone") appears in Tobit 4:15, Philo (Hypothetica 7.6) and elsewhere; one Jewish work straddles both forms (Ep. Arist. 207). Although some commentators have tried to disparage the negative form by contrast with the positive, both forms mean essentially the same thing; both biblical law (Lev 19:18) and Paul (Rom 13:10) define the positive commandment of love by means of negative commandments (E. Sanders 1992:258-59).
The principle appears in cultures totally isolated from the ancient Mediterranean; it appears, for example, in Confucian teaching from sixth-century B.C. China (see Jochim 1986:125). That others would discover this same principle should not surprise us, because one of the most natural foundations for ethics is for a person to extrapolate from one's own worth to that of others, hence to value others as oneself (compare, for example, Sirach 31:15). Thus every person is morally responsible to recognize how one ought to treat every other person. When we treat others (such as waitresses, store clerks or children) the way people of higher status treated people of lower status in Jesus' day, we invite God's judgment against us. No one so insensitive as to demean another human being on account of social station warrants God's mercy (Mt 5:7; 6:14-15; 7:1-5).
One who observes this basic principle will fulfill all the basic principles of the law the way God intended them (compare 5:21-48; 22:37-39). Later Jewish tradition declares that the sage Hillel, who taught before Jesus did, had already seen this rule as a good summary of the law. As the story goes, a Gentile approached both Hillel and his rival sage, promising each that he would convert to Judaism if the sage could teach him the law concisely. Hillel declared, "Whatever you do not want someone to do to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Law; the rest of it is just explanation" (b.Sabbat 31a; compare ARN 25, 53B).
This is the law of love, the principle by which Jesus epitomizes the entire humanward aspect of God's law (22:39-40; compare Jn 13:34-35), a principle Jesus' earliest followers never forgot (Rom 13:8-10; Gal 5:14; 6:2; Jas 2:8). What is distinctive about the principle as it appears in Matthew is its relation to the day of judgment (Mt 7:1-2, 13-14).

IVP New Testament Commentaries are made available by the generosity of InterVarsity Press.



http://www.biblebelievers.com/jmelton/SinsofTongue.html 

Matthew 7

God Will Judge Us the Way We Judge Others (7:1-2)

By this point in the sermon, no one who has been taking Jesus' words seriously will feel much like judging anyone else anyway. Still, we humans tend to prefer applying ethics to other people rather than ourselves. (For example, husbands tend to prefer quoting Paul's instructions on marriage to their wives rather than his admonitions to them, and vice-versa. Likewise, I have sometimes listened to a sermon thinking, I wish so-and-so had shown up for church today.) So just in case we have been too obtuse to grasp that Jesus addresses us rather than others in 5:3-6:34, Jesus renders the point explicit in 7:1-5. We are objects of God's evaluation, and God evaluates most graciously the meek, who recognize God alone as judge.
Even if we knew people's hearts, we could not evaluate degrees of personal guilt as if we understood all the genetic and social influences that combine with personal sinful choices in making some people more vulnerable to particular temptations (such as alcohol or spouse abuse) than others. Most important, Jesus warns us that even if we knew people's hearts, we would be in no position to judge unless we had lived sinless lives, never needing God's forgiveness (vv. 3-5; compare 6:12, 14-15).
Many people have ripped this passage out of context, however. Jesus warns us not to assume God's prerogative to condemn the guilty; he is not warning us not to discern truth from error (see 7:15-23). Further, Jesus does not oppose offering correction, but only offering correction in the wrong spirit (v. 5; compare 18:15-17; Gal 6:1-5).
Having right beliefs about judging is not enough. Although Jesus regards scribal and Pharisaic righteousness as inadequate (Mt 5:20), it is not because scribes and Pharisees professed the wrong doctrine on this issue. Most of the sages would have probably agreed with his basic perspective here (compare, for example, Sirach 28:1-3; m. 'Abot 2:5), and even the particular image of measuring back what one measures out (Mt 7:2-as in "what goes around comes around") was proverbial wisdom. Jesus' contemporaries often affirmed his principle and even used the same illustration, but Jesus demands more than agreement from disciples: he demands obedience (vv. 24-27).

IVP New Testament Commentaries are made available by the generosity of InterVarsity Press.

 

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7&version=NKJV

Does God Ever Refuse to Hear Prayers?

http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2012/05/does-god-ever-refuse-to-hear-prayers/

Is Supporting Your Children Unbiblical?

1 Timothy 5:8

New International Version (NIV)

⁸ Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

http://www.cbmw.org/Resources/Book-Reviews/Fatherless-America-by-David-Blankenhorn

1 Timothy 5:8

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁸If anyone fails to provide for his relatives, and especially for those of his own family, he has disowned the faith [by failing to accompany it with fruits] and is worse than an unbeliever [who performs his obligation in these matters].



http://www.christinyou.net/pages/government.html

Absent Parents & Left Behind Kids

Absent Parents and Left Behind Kids

By Judy H. Wright

"Why did my daddy leave?
Was it because I was a bad girl or he didn't love us anymore?"
Explaining the absent parent is never easy, but it is necessary. For children, their primary fear is of abandonment and loss of parental love. There may be a number of reasons that the family is no longer intact, if it ever was, but the child is looking for reassurance that it is not their fault and that they will be cared for.
Children's lives revolve around their family:
The family unit is all they have ever known and to hear that a parent or caregiver is no longer going to be there is very traumatic and almost unbelievable. They will jump to a number of conclusions, most of them wrong and blaming themselves, in an effort to find answers and just cope. In an effort to make sense of the situation, they may become clingy to the caregiver and think "If he left, maybe you will too."
Feelings of Abandonment and isolation:
No matter what other reactions children may demonstrate to the adults in their lives, almost all have a deep and pervasive sorrow and sadness about them. One of the best things you can do for your children is to allow them to express their grief. Prolonged crying and preoccupation with the lost relationship are normal responses. Parents and family frequently try to hide their own despair and disappointment from the children, but by talking with them about feelings and emotions, you can give them permission to open up and share.
Single parenting:
One out of every four American children lives in a single-parent home. While most single-parent homes are the result of divorce, many parents and grandparents are raising children alone for other reasons as well. Some may be alone due to the death of a spouse, military assignments, single parent adoption, incarceration, drug or alcohol abuse and a myriad of other reasons for a parent to be absent in the life of a child.
Put the children's needs first:
As an adult it is your responsibility to care for the children, both physically and emotionally. Recognize that a long period of grief and mourning are natural. A preschooler may regress in such things as toilet training or begin to have nightmares or new fears. School age children may be showing signs of anger, guilt and sadness. You may see a drop in school grades and activities. Teenagers may assume they will be forced into an adult role or not have money enough for his needs. No matter what the age, some children feel responsible for the absent parent and harbor dreams about making it all right again. If you can not work out problems by open communication and cooperation, do not hesitate to get professional help. Their self-esteem and future happiness may depend on it.
Family: Absent Parents
And Left Behind Kids
©2006 Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator
html://www.ArtichokePress.com

Pointing Fingers and Placing Blame

I would like to clarify a situation that has been brought to my attention. I have been working with child support in Georgia since Jan. 10, 2010. We have been trying to locate my ex-husband but he has moved around a lot and has also been hiding behind different addresses. Earlier this week we got word that the case has been progressing through the system in Georgia. I have been expecting a backlash of emails and social network postings from him and his wife, but I was surprised. What did happen was a backlash at the wrong people. I feel the need to clarify who was involved in tracking down Steve.

I have been doing yearly background checks on him since he ducked out of California (our home state at the time) in 2009. Every year I run several different check on him and his household members in order to find vital information that child support needs in order to file the support case for our two children who will be 8 and 10 in just a few weeks. I have never asked Steve's family or Stephanie's family for address information, employer information or phone numbers. I have been able to get all this (ever changing) information on my own and all from states away.

To me to think of a blended family as having sides to pick from is beyond ridiculous. I have and always will see the girls family as my own no matter how many years go by that Steve and I have been divorced. My daughters are a connection to them that in my eyes will never be broken. Family is Family. I understand their view on wanting to keep in touch and be a part of his family. Family is Family. I would never try to come in the way of that relationship. To me NOTHING should ever come between family.

If there is blame for a guilty party it is the ones who caused the situation. By leaving the state and moving without notifying the court and by not paying the support payments in 3 years Steve has brought the blame down upon himself. It is unfortunate that he has made these choices and let them continue to a felony level. But I no longer feel bad for him. I feel sad that he has made choices that will affect them, but I did not make those choices. I will continue to stand by the decision to file for child support, because it is not for me. It is for my children and if dealing with child support for many years is part of the consequences of the divorce then so be it. All four children deserve to be supported and cared for by their Father.

Ridiculousness

Billy and I were contacted yesterday by the MTV clip show Ridiculousness. They saw one of our videos of Billy "teaching" Josie how to skateboard and want to use it for the show. I was not sure what the show was and looked it up. I was in tears all night laughing! It is like an adult version of Americas Funniest Home Videos. Some of the segments titles are hilarious! I can't wait to find out what segment they will be placing our video clip under. I think it may have something to do with being too old for something! I thought Billy would not want to have the video on TV but he was all excited! I am so glad to have a husband who has such a great sense of humor. He keeps me young and laughing!

http://www.mtv.com/videos/ridiculousness-episode-16/1669972/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=36259&channelId=1

Specialist

In 2011 our daughter Margaret was diagnosed with Orthostatic Proteinuria. During her yearly check up in March of this year the doctor noticed that her levels of protein in her urine were elevated higher then her normal high level. Upon further testing over the span of two weeks we agreed that we should get her an appointment with a specialist. We saw her new specialist yesterday who seemed very knowledgeable about her condition. He ran more tests and took a look at her kidneys and bladder via ultrasound. So far her kidneys look healthy and are not suspected to be the cause of the Proteinuria. What was detected was that her bladder failed to empty after she had voided. This is a cause for concern and he gave us some different exercises and routines to help her with this elimination problem. She also will start on a new medication and a new nutritional plan. We will be following up with him again in 2 months to see if these changes have improved her ability to empty her bladder. Before this follow up she will be going in for another test called an IVP-KUB. At this time they may decided to do another test called a VCUG. I have linked some related articles.

Update: IVP-KUB has been moved up. We have it scheduled June 5 and 8:30 am. If we can wait this long...If she continues to keep getting more infections before the test we will be going in sooner. 

http://www.uptodate.com/contents/orthostatic-or-postural-proteinuria

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intravenous_pyelogram

http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/medical/test_vcug.html

Modification

After 3 long years we have finally come to a decision regarding the current custody and visitation order that is in affect. We have decided that since their biological Father has chosen to not contact the children that we will go ahead and petition the court for Full Physical and Legal Custody again. We have waited for some kind of change in regard to Stephen's behavior towards his children but sadly there has been nothing positive coming from him or from his new wife and her relatives. As the order calls for our children to have visitation with him and his new family we have decided it would be best to change those orders. Since we have not heard from him in over 3 years I do not think that we will have much trouble convincing the court for Full Custody especially since he has a history of being unstable regarding his relationship with the girls. What I do wonder is, if like in the past if he will come crawling back begging me to let him see the girls again just so that the custody order can be changed and allow his child support order to go down? He has done this twice already since 2004 and yet after only a few months of consistently seeing the children he bails on them.

These back and forth unstable decisions that he continues to make will surely show the courts that we are doing what is in the children's best interest. I had hoped that we could keep the orders as they were so that in the future he could see them again when he was finally ready to step up and be a man and a Dad, but now it is clear that he is still not ready to do what is right for his daughters. We will be praying that the judge will do what the courts feel is right and just for the girls in regards to the child support order. I think now that it would be fair for the girls to have the order retroactive to the date of his leaving the state of CA, but that will be up to God and the court. It is sad to think that after many years of dealing with Stephen and his lack of involvement with the girls that we are right back at square one all over again. Only this time I will never let him manipulate me into allowing him to have visitation and custody back...never again. If he ever wants to have the orders changed he will have to file the court papers for it, and I know that if he ever does take it upon himself to ask for a modification of the custody and visitation that it is only due to his wallet and not his heart. (April 2nd is right around the corner!) ; )

The Rising Cost

I have been silent about child support for many months but now feel there is something that I need to address or rather vent.

As the children grow and get older the cost of raising them grows. I look back on the days of diapers, formula doctor co pays, day care etc. and long for the expense of those days back. I cherish my daughters so much and love watching then change and grow but it also scares me to think about just how much longer my husband and I can go on supporting them without the financial help of their biological father. My husband works so very hard and takes such wonderful care of all of our girls needs and wants, but how much longer can he continue to work 12-13 hour days? How much longer can we keep making ends meet for the girls? I wish I could afford to buy the things my husband needs like new work boots for his ailing feet and back. A new windshield for his truck that has been broken for 3 years. Countless repairs to both of our vehicles that are both 10-11 years old, but we wait. We wait patiently for the day where we can afford to care for our needs as a family as well as the needs for the girls. We WAIT...for their biological father to step up and begin to pay any amount of support that he can...and he can pay something. He could have been paying something for the last 3 years but has chosen not too. It makes me sad to think about how his poor choices will be affecting his new family when child support takes him to court.

Another new development is I got confirmation that indeed his new Mother and Father In Law do know about his two other children, but do not care. They do know about how far behind in child support he is and choose to continue to enable him to continue to not only fail to pay but to also continue on a path that will lead to a felony. What is the most disturbing about his in-laws is that they are both very active Christians. His Father in law continues to be a missionary and from what I have heard was even a pastor. How he can live with knowing he is enabling a Father to go against what the Bible says a Father is suppose to do for his children is beyond me. The whole thing is just so sad.

What this all boils down to is not the dollar amount of the child support but the Rising Cost of not paying. This could very well cost Stephen his freedom. His ability to be home and with his new family. This will cost his two new children and his wife to be without him. This will cost him is reputation and follow his name in the future. This will cost him the trust and respect of his children. It will cost him his own self respect. It will cost him abundantly more then I can even put into words.

As of April 2012 Stephen owes $25,401.74 in back child support...but owes so much more then that...he owes his daughters an explanation and apology for his blatant abandonment of them. And if he continue down this path he will owe Ember and Liam an explanation as to why he chose not to love their sisters and include them in their lives.