Modification

After 3 long years we have finally come to a decision regarding the current custody and visitation order that is in affect. We have decided that since their biological Father has chosen to not contact the children that we will go ahead and petition the court for Full Physical and Legal Custody again. We have waited for some kind of change in regard to Stephen's behavior towards his children but sadly there has been nothing positive coming from him or from his new wife and her relatives. As the order calls for our children to have visitation with him and his new family we have decided it would be best to change those orders. Since we have not heard from him in over 3 years I do not think that we will have much trouble convincing the court for Full Custody especially since he has a history of being unstable regarding his relationship with the girls. What I do wonder is, if like in the past if he will come crawling back begging me to let him see the girls again just so that the custody order can be changed and allow his child support order to go down? He has done this twice already since 2004 and yet after only a few months of consistently seeing the children he bails on them.

These back and forth unstable decisions that he continues to make will surely show the courts that we are doing what is in the children's best interest. I had hoped that we could keep the orders as they were so that in the future he could see them again when he was finally ready to step up and be a man and a Dad, but now it is clear that he is still not ready to do what is right for his daughters. We will be praying that the judge will do what the courts feel is right and just for the girls in regards to the child support order. I think now that it would be fair for the girls to have the order retroactive to the date of his leaving the state of CA, but that will be up to God and the court. It is sad to think that after many years of dealing with Stephen and his lack of involvement with the girls that we are right back at square one all over again. Only this time I will never let him manipulate me into allowing him to have visitation and custody back...never again. If he ever wants to have the orders changed he will have to file the court papers for it, and I know that if he ever does take it upon himself to ask for a modification of the custody and visitation that it is only due to his wallet and not his heart. (April 2nd is right around the corner!) ; )

The Rising Cost

I have been silent about child support for many months but now feel there is something that I need to address or rather vent.

As the children grow and get older the cost of raising them grows. I look back on the days of diapers, formula doctor co pays, day care etc. and long for the expense of those days back. I cherish my daughters so much and love watching then change and grow but it also scares me to think about just how much longer my husband and I can go on supporting them without the financial help of their biological father. My husband works so very hard and takes such wonderful care of all of our girls needs and wants, but how much longer can he continue to work 12-13 hour days? How much longer can we keep making ends meet for the girls? I wish I could afford to buy the things my husband needs like new work boots for his ailing feet and back. A new windshield for his truck that has been broken for 3 years. Countless repairs to both of our vehicles that are both 10-11 years old, but we wait. We wait patiently for the day where we can afford to care for our needs as a family as well as the needs for the girls. We WAIT...for their biological father to step up and begin to pay any amount of support that he can...and he can pay something. He could have been paying something for the last 3 years but has chosen not too. It makes me sad to think about how his poor choices will be affecting his new family when child support takes him to court.

Another new development is I got confirmation that indeed his new Mother and Father In Law do know about his two other children, but do not care. They do know about how far behind in child support he is and choose to continue to enable him to continue to not only fail to pay but to also continue on a path that will lead to a felony. What is the most disturbing about his in-laws is that they are both very active Christians. His Father in law continues to be a missionary and from what I have heard was even a pastor. How he can live with knowing he is enabling a Father to go against what the Bible says a Father is suppose to do for his children is beyond me. The whole thing is just so sad.

What this all boils down to is not the dollar amount of the child support but the Rising Cost of not paying. This could very well cost Stephen his freedom. His ability to be home and with his new family. This will cost his two new children and his wife to be without him. This will cost him is reputation and follow his name in the future. This will cost him the trust and respect of his children. It will cost him his own self respect. It will cost him abundantly more then I can even put into words.

As of April 2012 Stephen owes $25,401.74 in back child support...but owes so much more then that...he owes his daughters an explanation and apology for his blatant abandonment of them. And if he continue down this path he will owe Ember and Liam an explanation as to why he chose not to love their sisters and include them in their lives.